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Getting over the idea that your boyfriend dumped you is never going to be easy but neither is it going to be impossible. There are no end of homely “there you are” type pieces of advice from people who mean well but the truth, for all that, is that you are going to have to pick yourself up, dust yourself down and get on with things. The alternative is to stay stuck in the past wallowing in a mire of self pity.

However, write good things that happened lately down too. You might feel that your partner doesn’t love you, but why not think of some of the good things that they’ve done for you so far?

Who is sexier, the confident guy with the shaved, bald head or the one with bad posture and a comb-over? Which of these two guys has chosen to own his dwindling hair follicles and which one is ashamed? Denying your illness is a form of psychic comb-over. It says “if I pretend my heart/kidneys/bones are fine, then everything will be OK”. Believe me, no one is fooled. Least of all, you.

Stop complaining about your life all the time. There is no sense asking for advice from people close to you if you don’t listen to their suggestions at all.

If you can, look into Cognitive Therapy. A therapist can help you learn and refine these skills. You will have to work hard to learn how to manage and defuse these thoughts but it is a skill-set that you’ll use the rest of your life. You either own depression and crazy or it owns you- there is no in-between.

One of the most important things someone can do to improve their life is to exercise effectively. When we exercise not only do we improve our perception of ourselves but it also helps keep an important chemical balance in our body. Also, in times of anxiety or depression exercise can help us put our life in perspective and work through the hard times.

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